There is NO WAY you're a Runner if you're a Smoker!!

This is the one I don't want my husband to see.

I knew that damn pack of cigarettes I just had to have in Vegas 4 weeks ago was eventually going to bite me in the ass!

Yes I smoked the whole pack.

All 20 of them. 

By myself.

And paid about $7 dollars too much for them.  But I didn't care that the lady said $9 when she handed them to me.  I had a fantastic buzz and damn it, I was going to smoke.

Today, my lungs hate me.  My taste buds even hate me.  The shit that has been flying up my esophagus is the most foul tasting junk I have ever had resting on my tongue.  And little did I know, my gag reflexes have become so strong in my older age!

I've thrown up twice today.

I decided that after about a month and a half off, I was going to start running again.  I was talking about it yesterday in a meeting with some co-workers and wouldn't you know it, someone who came from out of town found a great place to run and invited me to run with him. 

Why the hell do I not know how to say NO?  I can't do it.  It's not in me at all to say no.

This guy runs 7 days a week.  Every. Single. Day.  And, I'm not talking the little 2 miles that I was planning on starting out with.  I can guarantee you he runs about 10-15 miles a day. 

My stupid fat ass said I would go run with him this morning.

One of my greatest qualities is that when I say I'm going to do something, I do it.  I never back out.

Today, I wish I would have backed out.

First, it was like 30 degrees outside.  And, I love the cold weather but remember the fucking entire pack of cigarettes I smoked 4 weeks ago?  Right.  My lungs were already pissed at me for that.  Add the nice cold crisp air stabbing me in the chest and I'm not really a happy camper.

But, I did it.  I committed myself to meet him at 4:45 a.fucking.m and we ran. 

Well, he ran and I jogged.  Most of the time.  Because I had to walk when I almost threw up.  Six times.

He ran circles around me.  Literally.  Like, I was running around the lake, and he was running around me running around the lake! 

I cannot move a muscle in my body.  I feel like I've been run over by a steamroller.  The smokephlegm is just multiplying up my throat and I had to have my husband take my boots off tonight.

Guess what my dumb ass did today before I left work?

I'll let you know how tomorrow's morning run goes.....ugh.