Sep 28, 2010

To Do the Dance, You Have to Take the Chance

I've been saying something lately and I'm wondering if it's a little rude.  Don't get me wrong, I can be rude and I'm really not concerned if you're mad at me for it.  That's just life.  But for the most part, I'm a really positive person and like to think of myself as upbeat, funny and genuinely a sweet and caring gal.  I've been reading a lot of Caringbridge sites lately and just cannot ever imagine going through anything so heartbreaking.  I thank God for every little thing in my life because without Him I would not be the person I am today nor would I have anything worth living for.  But recently, I've heard myself on numerous occasions saying; "at least you're not dying from cancer".  I know that sounds terrible but most of the conversations I have with some folks require me to be blunt sometimes! I guess what I'm really trying to say to them is that it could be worse. Some people are just so negative and down on themselves.  They worry so much and have so much fear in their day to day lives that they can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, and oh Lord what will they do?! So, when I say that to them, I'm honestly not trying to be ugly. Hell, I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel most days but I make the best of most situations.  Like, "at least it's dark in that tunnel so nobody can see that I didn't put my makeup on today"! Or how about this; I know that there really is a light at the end of the tunnel.  Eventually, I'm going to reach it.  And when I do, I want to have done the best of my ability all along the way, in the dark so that when I can see the light I'll be even better. I realize that tomorrow is not guaranteed.  We can't just sit around and wait for something to happen or feel sorry for ourselves because our day didn't go exactly as WE planned.  And another thing, quit waiting around for great things to drop in your lap.  It ain't gonna happen.  Take some initiative and help it along a bit. Take that chance.  Last night on Dancing with the Stars, Len Goodman said "You can't do the dance, if you don't take the chance".  I loved it!

So, I have a friend that is creeping into his mid 30's and remains single.  He's getting a little impatient about it.  Now by single I don't mean that he sits around watching TV at home.  He does go out. A lot. He has been known to give my husband a call a time or two.  I say make a tally mark under the responsibility category for that one! He often worries that life is going to pass him by and he will not get the opportunity to share his life with a wonderful girl. Here's the problem - HE IS NOT TAKING THE CHANCE!  I guess that means he wont be shaking his tail feather on the dance floor anytime soon!  Quit trying to find that PERFECT person, She doesn't exist - well, she does but she's taken.   Anyway, as I was saying.....this guy is the bomb dot com slash your mom!  He drives a nice car, ahem...Land Rover, lives in an very nice neighborhood, has a fantastic, well paying job and he loves his doggie.  Who in the world wouldn't want to set up housekeeping with that guy?  You know, Jump the Broom? Warning: this dog might as well be his child though so I hope the person he finds loves doggies too.  He takes her to doggie day care and sends her to special doggie day camps!  He even has pictures of her in his office where the doggie day camps have dressed her up.  One of them shows her on "Hollywood Day" wearing a beautiful feather boa.  She loved it so much she smiled in the picture!  Now, that's dedication on his part.  Heck that could even fall in the category of commitment (scary word).  So, two marks in the plus category for him.  I think the misstep he's taking is trying to find someone who doesn't want to change him.  Either that or he's worried he'll hook up with a serial killer! He is already set in his ways and worries that making a commitment will mean changing his life.  That my friends is considered stubborn.  Uh oh, one tally mark in the minus category.  So, he's two for three so far....I promise a union with him would not ever be anything less than unforgettable.  Being married is hard work and yes, it's a change.  But the change is gradual. So gradual you don't hardly notice (that's what I keep telling myself).  My husband and I are still finding out new things about each other and it's been 8 years!  If whomever my dear friend falls for likes him for who he is and not what she thinks she can make him then it's worth the work. Listen buddy your friend still thinks I'm trying to change him but he is still the same guy I met 8 years ago.  Now, I'm a determined son of a gun so if I can't change someone it really aint happening! And, as far as I know, he's not a serial killer.

This doesn't just apply to finding your soul mate.  Life in general requires a positive attitude and some guts. How will you ever know if you don't just try? Take a chance on that sweet, sweet girl or even that career move.  It may be the best decision you've ever made.  You never know how many dances you'll be a part of. If it so happens that it wasn't a good decision so what, it's not the end of the world, at least you're not dying from cancer.

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