Feb 28, 2011

Day Two: Hugging While Building up Positive Feelings

My husband thinks that just because I want a hug, we need to rush to the bedroom and lock the door.  When I tell him to just hug me he doesn't understand that I just want to feel close to him. He also disagrees with my theory that the children need to see us connecting. 

Whatevs.

When he read the exercise for Day Two of our K-Y® Brand Intimacy Experiment he was PISSED!  I mean, I know that he's not a very touchy feely person and all but seriously, one day of hugging (for longer than 2 seconds Jason) isn't going to kill him.  AND, there ain't no such thing as a sideways hug.  You know, the kind where you kind of lean in sideways with one arm?  That, my sweet husband, will not cut it!

It says here that we should hug for 30 seconds!  Do you know how long 30 seconds is Genny?

No, I really don't.  Let's give it a try.....here, I'll set the time on the microwave and we'll hug for 30 seconds.  Ready, Go!

I thought he was going to explode with anxiety.  He kept rocking back and forth from one foot to the other and I felt him holding his breath.  When the timer went off he couldn't release his arms quick enough.  And really, you should know him.  He's hilarious and I'd say 99% of his stubbornness is really him joking around.  So, rather than me being upset or have my feelings hurt by this, I decided I'd play a little mind game with him.

So, did that *ONE* hug make you feel any closer to me?

Naw...it felt the same as usual except this time you didn't slap my hands away when they wrapped around your waist.

That's because I'm trying to focus on the hug and how it makes me feel, even if you are touching me in every fat place on my body!  You say you don't notice but I feel like you're doing it on purpose to make me feel self conscience.  Why can't you just put your arms over my shoulders anyway?

What, like a high school dance hold?

Yes, but close to each other. Touching.  Pretend like this time there are no Teachers or Principals measuring distance between our torsos.

So, we tried it again.  I set the timer for 30 seconds and we embraced.  I felt all magical and totally gaga over him holding me tight.  This time he didn't fidget immediately, but towards the end I could feel him getting restless.

So, did you like the hug?

Meh.....it's just a hug Gen.

Oh, darn it.  I was hoping it made you feel the way I do right now. 

How's that?

All warm and tingly inside. Like I could rip your clothes off behind a locked door.  But, you know, since you don't feel that way I guess we'll just have to try again in a little while.

LOL!  He was a little ticked.  He kept trying to hug me all day.  And, every once in a while I'd let him.  But, I wanted to see if he read the entire Exercise for the day *and* night. 

It all goes back to the saying that intimacy is not just about sex or what happens in the bedroom.  I think a hug is a positive thing to do during the day.  It beats the hell out of fighting that's for sure.  So why not give your partner a hug the next time you feel like cussing him/her out?  Honestly, the more positive things that happen in my day with my husband, the less I feel like choking him when he's smacking his food!  It's weird how that works. The more hugs I receive from him and give back to him, the less I tend to focus on his annoying habits and the less he fusses about my addiction to technology. 

When you spend your days remembering how it makes you feel when he or she is gazing into your eyes without diverting their attention, it makes you feel like that's exactly where you belong.  Hold on to those feelings and store them in your soul so you'll never forget how your partners eyes sparkle when they're looking into yours.  Save the way he or she made you feel when they embraced you.  To quote Brittany who amazingly came up with it's like "building up the savings in our positive love bank account".  I'd have to agree!  It forces you to look into that account and withdraw some of the feelings.

With the day almost to a close, and all that hugging and gazing into each others eyes we were both in terrific moods and it *truly* made our private time that much more amazing. 

You too can participate in this 10 day Intimacy extravaganza, aka, K-Y® Brand Intimacy Experiment FREE of charge on Facebook.  Visit COUPLES PLACE™ Presented by K-Y® Brand to download the PDF file!

“I wrote this posting while participating in a blog campaign on behalf of K-Y® Brand and also received product samples to help facilitate my review. In addition, K-Y® Brand sent me a gift card to thank me for taking the time to participate.”

Feb 27, 2011

Day One: Change of Routine

Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

Every single day, this is what my home life has become.  Except it goes something like this:

Work. Cook. Sleep. Repeat.  Day in and day out.  It's a simple routine that sometimes gets a little boring.  But, I've gotten so used to this routine, that when my husband tries to take a different route, I get really irritable.  I don't like to sway from normalcy much.

But I have to do something because he doesn't look at me the way he used to.  He doesn't even joke with me anymore.  He says it's because I'm not fun anymore and I don't laugh at him.  I can't take a joke the way I used to. 

That is not what I wanted to hear.  Especially since I'm a little insecure already.  I mean, what if some skinny broad comes along and sweeps him off his feet?  What if there were someone paying much more attention to him than I?  We literally talk for about 10 minutes before we fall asleep.  And don't even think about trying to touch me in the bed when I'm trying to sleep.  I need my beauty sleep!

But, that's all about to change, thank you The K-Y® Brand Intimacy Experiment. I realize that I need to give him more attention because he really could go out and get it from someone else and I think it's my job to prevent that from happening. 

They've provided me with an amazing prize package along with a 10 day relationship guide created by real doctors that will guide us through experiments meant to strengthen and improve our relationship and intimacy.

10 days of listening to his inner most thoughts and doing things we *both* want to do without having to take off work to go to therapy.  Not to mention, this shit is FREE!  That's all I had to say to my husband and he was on board.  He made me promise not to take pictures of him naked though. Chicken.

So, Day One: The Bedroom

We were to step into the doorway of our room and decide if it was really somewhere we could take full advantage of hot steamy love making.  You know, like hotel sex?  No distractions, nothing to look at except a fluffy bed with crisp white sheets and no laundry baskets piled up at the end of the bed.  When Hubs and I did this, we fell out laughing because it was exactly that ~ Laundry basket and the newspaper spread out all over the bed.  Dr. Pepper cans on the computer table and my oh-so-sexy CPAP mask hanging on the bedpost.  Our bedroom is a catch all for everything family related.  There is nothing inviting about my room except for the color and the fact that there are like a million pillows.  We all hang out in our room for some reason.  Even the boys lay across the bed to do their homework in our room!  See:


So together we cleaned up our room and told the boys that no longer would they be hanging out in our room.  We'd help them with their homework at the table and then they could watch TV in their own rooms.  I mean, they both have a television in their rooms so why not?

It was fun doing the project together and I knew that my husbands motivation was the awesome box of lube and fun stuff we received from the KY Brand Intimacy Experiment.  I'd be kidding if I said I weren't a little bit excited to see what this stuff was all about.  I see the commercials and think: "yea right, fireworks my ass"  So, I'm looking forward to it!  Our Love Nest came out looking like this:



And, like the Title of my blog says:  OMG!!! (leave out the Whatever) I love this stuff!

“I wrote this posting while participating in a blog campaign on behalf of K-Y® Brand and also received product samples to help facilitate my review. In addition, K-Y® Brand sent me a gift card to thank me for taking the time to participate.”


Feb 24, 2011

I Can Get Naked Too

I know it's still winter and all but dude, lately it's been like 80 degrees in the Deep South! 

I don't know if you know this but, when you are "big boned" like me, the thermostat might as well be reading 120 degrees.  For real.  Plus, this big girl has a TON of hair that I'm unwilling to part with.  The mornings around here are not pretty.  My bedroom fan is on full blast and I have to dry my hair in 10 minute increments.  And, every single morning when I'm done drying and flat ironing my hair, I stick my face in the freezer for a few minutes to cool down before I put my make-up on.  I do that every. single. morning.

So, last night I went for a run, I mean a jog. Hell I walked OK?  And, I'd be lying to you if I said I walked fast because I didn't.  Anyway, when I got back in the house it felt like a flipping sauna in here.  I clicked the on the air conditioner because HELLO, the weatherman said the high today was 80.  As soon as Hubs heard the unit kick on he came running down the hall freaking out and clicked it right back off.

Why are you turning the *air* on?

Because, I just walked three miles and it's hot in this house.  It got up to 80 degrees today and I need to cool the house down!

But, I'm freezing and you're just hot because you just got done exercising!

Jason, put some damn clothes on and you wouldn't be freezing!

Why do I have to remind my husband who is six years older than I am that if you lay around the house in nothing but a pair of boxer shorts you're *gonna* get cold?  It's like talking to a kid I'm telling you! 

I finished washing the dinner dishes and started the boys shower and baths for the night.  After they were occupied I went to my bedroom and took off all of my clothes except my panties.  Hubs was sitting on the couch watching Sportscenter and I non chalantly walked into the room with the broom and started sweeping.

Now look, there was NOTHING pretty about the sight that he saw.  Remember, undies only and the girls were certainly not cooperating as they insisted on resting on my hips.  It was so hard for me to keep a straight face and honestly, I don't know how I did it.  Hubs jumped up from the couch and screamed:

OH MY GOD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!!

I simply said, if you're going to be pissed about me turning the air conditioner on at the same time you walk around here almost naked, then I'm going to walk around here almost naked so I can try and be "freezing" like you!

He stomped down the hall like a 6 year old who didn't get his way, towards our bedroom, clicked the air conditioner back on and returned to the living room fully clothed.  Well, he put a t-shirt and some socks on.  He was still complaining about being cold so I covered him in a blanket!

I cannot help it that his metabolism works a hell of a lot better than mine.

Feb 21, 2011

25 Things you Might not Know About Moi

1. I can listen to music all day long and not ever do anything else.

2. Of all of my car accidents 6 of them were my fault.  I still insist on driving.

3. My siblings and I are essentially The Brady Bunch - except we never had Alice.

4. Even if there's a chance I may hurt your feelings I still will never lie to you.

5. I was named after a movie star who won a Golden Globe for her performance. I do not look anything like her.

6. I will always be on-time.

7. My biggest pet peeve is when you eat with your mouth open or give me any inclination (by way of sound) that you have something in your mouth.

8. My mom and dad are my heros and two of my best friends.

9. When I'm at a party or social gathering where there is alcohol and I am consuming said alcohol (I can't say bar because it's been almost a decade since I've been in such an establishment), I take myself to the bathroom to look in the mirror to see if I "look" drunk.  I talk to myself to see if I "sound" drunk and then I poke myself and flick my teeth to see if I "feel" drunk.  At that point, I pretty much know - I'm drunk.

10. I have a crush on Drew Brees. OK - you probably already knew that.

11. I am a giant sucker for romance.

12. I'm slightly deaf.

12. I love to help people with whatever they need. If I don't know how to do something I will not quit until I have helped them.

13. I can sleep all day long if you let me.

14. I love reality TV

15. Caffeine is my drug of choice. Particularly Diet Pepsi Coke (sorry Matt, I tried.  Even the computer gods wouldn't let me do it).

16. My idea of fun is anything that makes me laugh. Preferrably hysterically.

17. I love to hug.

18. I do not embarrass easily.

19. I am totally afraid of the dark. Like, deathly haveananxietyattack AFRAID.

20. I worry my husband will leave me when the boys go to college.  I have 10 years to:
      A. Get a Sugar Daddy
      B. Start enjoying sex

21. I never wear makeup on the weekends.  I wash my face immediately when I get home from work.

22. My favorite thing to do is hide around the corner and scare the crap out of people.

23. I laugh like the fat guy in the back seat.

24. I was not very popular in high school. With the girls anyway.

25. I dream I could own my own Hair and Makeup Studio - with me as the top stylist.

Now, tell me something I don't know about you!

Feb 17, 2011

What's for Dinner?

Sometimes I get in a rut and prepare the same things over and over for supper.  My family is not picky so they just go with it.  Plus, they don't cook so they can't demand I change things up.

But, lately I've been so bored making the same things.  I even reached out to my friends for new recipes.  That wasn't very successful.  They don't like sharing.

I've been asking around today what people are making for supper to maybe get some ideas.  Chicken Alfredo, Deer Meat Enchiladas, Spaghetti, and Roast Chicken are some of the meals being prepared around town.  Oooh, a Rotisserie Chicken sounds good and that's easy - you just pick those up at the store!  Then I text my friend to ask her what she was making for supper and totally spit my coffee on my keyboard when I read her reply:

Roger is picking up a Rotisserie Chicken and I am making homemade mac and cheese and corn on the cob.  But, UGH - I HATE making two things of the same color - but since Megan begged me, I'll do it!

Wait.  WHAT?  You don't make two side items if they are the same color? 

Who the hell thinks that much? 

Seriously, Corn and Mac and Cheese are of the yellowish color, right?  But if you get technical about it, Mac and Cheese is ORANGE and Corn is YELLOW and they are in fact NOT the same color!  Maybe she should just put the chicken in the middle of the plate and separate the side dishes on either side?  Some people are totally weird and I guess everyone has their own OCD issues.

That got me thinking about Brittany's Buffalo Chicken Pizza - (because I use Rotisserie Chicken) it's totally delicious and super duper easy, plus my kids eat it up so I don't have to make anything different for them.  Because no matter how much I try the "if you don't eat that you'll go to bed without supper" thing, it never works.  I always wake them up around 10 pm to tell them I'm sorry for making them starve and please don't think I'm a terrible mother so here's an ice cream Sunday with extra chocolate sauce to show you how much I really do love you.  I've learned my lesson and so they will eat a nutritious meal along with mom and dad, I usually have chicken nuggets or something semi-healthy for them.  But tonight - I only have to cook one meal. After I clean my keyboard up!


What are you having for dinner tonight?

Feb 16, 2011

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner!

It's time for me to announce the winner of my 5 Things giveaway!
If your name is Taunia - Yay you!  You win My 5 Things because hello?  You never leave home without your attitude!  Plus, I'm jealous that I can't play words with friends on my jank phone!
Taunia send me your mailing address by inbox on Facebook!
Taunia said...

I'll give this a go:

#1: My cell phone because the bastards down in the corporate IT department won't let me FB from my work computer! (Screw them, I tether my phone to my computer, shut their crap off, and FB anyway!) Ha! Not to mention I left it at home one day and it was like having a mini-crisis. I live 2 minutes from work...so close, but SOOOO far away!

#2: L.I.P.G.L.O.S.S. I think I once posted a pic on FB of the top drawer in my desk. There were about 5 of them. That doesn't include what's in my purse, car, bathroom... I'm a whore. A lipgloss whore. (At least it's not the worst kind of whore, right?)

#3 Lotion. I use it all the freaking time. I have a bottle at my desk, travel size in my purse, in my bathroom, bedroom, car. OK, maybe I'm a lotion whore too. Whatever. I'm a woman who likes soft, pretty skin. Get over it.

#4 Mascara. My eyes are like the only semi-pretty thing about me and they look like death warmed over until I put on the black magic! They are suddenly transformed into flirtatious butterflies, fluttering for attention. I use two kinds, but I'm counting it as one.

#5 I won't say debit card since I think I can make purchases with my phone now. My 5th has recently become my iPod touch. I want the best of all the worlds so my cell is a Droid and I carry an iPod touch to get all the features of an iPhone too. :) I'm now addicted to Words With Friends (Username: SpeclT if you play!) and have 7 active games.

...and if one of those could be something you can't touch, well, I would have to pick my attitude! That never leaves home without me!

It's my turn

My household has been sick for what seems like an eternity and just one week ago today we were bracing for more ice and snow.  Isn't it weird that it will be 74 degrees today?  No wonder we are all sick.  WAIT - I didn't mean *we* because I haven't gotten sick yet and I'm crossing my fingers that I don't.  But if I do I'm going to milk it so hard after what I've been through!

My husband has not EVER been sick since we've been together.  It sounds funny I know.  But, honestly with the exception of a minor sore throat or a little diarrhea, he honestly has not been sick.  I've never even seen him throw up! I say it's because he's got MAJOR OCD about germs.  He doesn't even put his toothbrush in the same toothbrush holder where my toothbrush is for fear that a germ may jump from mine to his. Plus, we all have to have different shelves in the refrigerator to house our opened soda cans or water bottles that we haven't finished because he doesn't want to accidentally put his mouth where someone else's has been!

But alas, he's succumbed to flu and now he's sick.  And, I mean *really* sick.  He has been in the bed for four days coughing, moaning, groaning and blowing his nose.  I have brought him his breakfast, lunch and dinner to our bed for four days.  I have washed every towel once it hits the bathroom floor for four days.  I've done the dishes two times a day for four days.  I've taken the garbage out twice a day for four days.  I've rubbed his back for four days.

I'm fucking exhausted!

I cried the first night into it because I knew it was going to be hell on me.  Also, I was a little scared.  I mean, I've never seen him look the way he did.  He was shaking all over the place.  Drooling and babbling words that were totally incomprehensible. He was all pale and had no strength whatsoever.  I even had to get him in and out of the tub. For. Four. Days.

It's not my fault that he spoils me OR, that he has OCD so bad that he has to at least do two loads of laundry per day and put the dishes in the dishwasher the minute they hit the sink.  This kind of stuff really bothers him to the core of his being.  I thought he would totally ignore it and not worry about it so much being that he looked like shit and probably felt a lot worse than he looked.  At first, I was all gung-ho about covering his duties.  But dude, yesterday I was all:

"listen, the dishes aren't going anywhere and we have seventy thousand towels so there's no need to really wash all that often, right?  Would you mind if I just took a break from all this work and maybe cleaned up say, tomorrow?"

I thought he was going to have a massive coronary.  I could see in his eyes that he was trying to find out some way to muster up the strength to do it himself.  He was in the center of an anxiety attack when he whispered "pleeeeeeaase".

FINE DAMN IT!!  I'll do laundry!

So, with a loving smile on my face and not one SINGLE complaint I have kept up the household.  Laundry, dishes, cooking, homework, baths, games with the boys, cleaning, mopping, sweeping, ironing - and let me tell you what, I don't iron.  If I can put it in the dryer with a damp bath cloth and it comes out less wrinkled than it was when I threw it in there - that's good enough for me.  But I sucked it up and did it for him.  He even irons our boys jeans and t-shirts.  They're in grade school for God's sake!!!  I ironed 7 shirts and 4 pairs of pants for him (not 7 because he only has 4 that he likes so you can guess what he does - HE WASHES THEM OVER AND OVER AND OVER).  I ironed 5 shirts for Birdie and 5 shirts for Weezer (my boys).  Then I ironed 10 pairs of jeans for them.  I was so proud of myself and really felt great that I was able to step up and help hubby out.  And guess what?  I didn't iron a SINGLE thing for myself.  Today when I was ready to get dressed I threw my clothes in the dryer with a damp cloth and a dryer sheet because, that's how I roll!

Today, Hubs went back to work.  Would it be really evil if I went home sick today and laid in the bed for four days just to watch him wait on me hand and foot?

Feb 9, 2011

5 Things and a Giveaway

Five things I don't ever leave the house without.

Only Five?

Really?

Let me try this. Is it cheating if one of the five things is my purse?  Because I can shove a lot of things in that purse!  Just take a look at SOME of the things in my purse...these are definitely the most important to me:


Obviously, the first of my "Five Things" is my cell phone because I do not know how I survived without one.  EVER.  And naturally, my wallet is in my purse but what's important *in* the wallet is the credit card that is completely burning a damn hole in my wallet.  Shhh....don't tell my husband. 

Since I'm not counting my wallet (because duh, who doesn't put their wallet in their purse) the second don't leave home without is my hair clips.  I have long bangs and most of the time they are pushed behind my ear but sometimes those bastards fall in my eyes. All. Day. Long.  I have to put my hair up and yes, I look like Pebbles.

Number three goes to my roll-on perfume.  I can never ever have enough Juicy!  The one pictured above is the fifth one in my possession.  Hubby bought the original one for me as a happy.  It was the only perfume he's ever bought me so, I guess that's why I like the scent.  You think it would hurt his feelings if I changed flavors?  Because I really want DKNY Pure.  It smells so yummy.  And, I want to smell yummy.

The fourth item really should be the first but you know, not everyone has their priorities straight.  So, number four is my migraine meds.  As you can see, I have many different options to choose from. I never *ever* leave the house without them.  Even if I'm just going to the tanning bed. Seriously.

Lastly, my lip moisturizer.  This is not lipstick.  It's not lip gloss.  It's not even chap stick.  It's moisturizer for  your lips, and I can promise you that once you try it, you will become addicted just like I have.  My friend Holly bought me one after she tried it.  Seriously, she got home, opened the package used it and hopped right back in her SUV, drove back to the store and bought one for me.  How sweet right?  I think so because I love this stuff.  It's made by Carmex but doesn't really have that distinct carmex smell.  It makes your lips shiny like  you have lip gloss on but not all goopy like when you put lip gloss on and can't touch your lips together because they'll get stuck.  The lip moisturizer has aloe in it so it soothes your lips too!  It's like rubbing a stick of butter on your lips without that nasty taste.  Plus, could you imagine how you would smell if you used butter as lip moisturizer?

There you have it - the Five Things I will not ever leave my house without.  Look at this:


I couldn't just end it with the Five Things I'd never leave the house without. Here are five things at my desk that are *always* there and I couldn't function properly without. 

Lotion, because the soap in our bathrooms at work really dries my hands out. I'm in love with the Antibacterial Lotions and this one is ULTA's Pomegranate.  Love it!

A mirror, because nobody at my office will EVER tell me if I have a bat in the cave.  Plus, I like to look at myself.  I know there are two on my desk but I love my cute little Fleur De Lis Mirror.  It's all blingy and just fits my style!

Sticky notes, because I'm a sticky note whore and write on them and post them everywhere.  I love the colored ones - why because they're cute of course I do cute things!

Reading glasses, because hello - I'm getting older and can't see a blasted thing without them.  The readers in the picture above came from a dollar store.  I know right?  And they're so stylish I get compliments on them often.

And look, more lip moisturizer!  I really love this stuff so much that I have one in my purse, one in my car, one in my bathroom, one on my nightstand and one at my desk.  This stuff is so good I have it literally everywhere . It's like chocolate for my lips!

I love it so much I'm going to give it away.  I'm not being paid by anyone for my extreme pleasure in lip moisturizer, I just want to share with you my top five desk items!  One lucky winner will receive Lip Moisturizer, Hand Lotion, Cute Sticky Notes, A Fancy Pocket Mirror and YES - even Reading Glasses!  All you have to do is comment on this post and tell me your Five Things you'd never leave home without!  Because I love hilarity, I will pick the most hilarious list.

Have fun and be creative!