Feb 28, 2011

Day Two: Hugging While Building up Positive Feelings

My husband thinks that just because I want a hug, we need to rush to the bedroom and lock the door.  When I tell him to just hug me he doesn't understand that I just want to feel close to him. He also disagrees with my theory that the children need to see us connecting. 


When he read the exercise for Day Two of our K-Y® Brand Intimacy Experiment he was PISSED!  I mean, I know that he's not a very touchy feely person and all but seriously, one day of hugging (for longer than 2 seconds Jason) isn't going to kill him.  AND, there ain't no such thing as a sideways hug.  You know, the kind where you kind of lean in sideways with one arm?  That, my sweet husband, will not cut it!

It says here that we should hug for 30 seconds!  Do you know how long 30 seconds is Genny?

No, I really don't.  Let's give it a try.....here, I'll set the time on the microwave and we'll hug for 30 seconds.  Ready, Go!

I thought he was going to explode with anxiety.  He kept rocking back and forth from one foot to the other and I felt him holding his breath.  When the timer went off he couldn't release his arms quick enough.  And really, you should know him.  He's hilarious and I'd say 99% of his stubbornness is really him joking around.  So, rather than me being upset or have my feelings hurt by this, I decided I'd play a little mind game with him.

So, did that *ONE* hug make you feel any closer to me?

Naw...it felt the same as usual except this time you didn't slap my hands away when they wrapped around your waist.

That's because I'm trying to focus on the hug and how it makes me feel, even if you are touching me in every fat place on my body!  You say you don't notice but I feel like you're doing it on purpose to make me feel self conscience.  Why can't you just put your arms over my shoulders anyway?

What, like a high school dance hold?

Yes, but close to each other. Touching.  Pretend like this time there are no Teachers or Principals measuring distance between our torsos.

So, we tried it again.  I set the timer for 30 seconds and we embraced.  I felt all magical and totally gaga over him holding me tight.  This time he didn't fidget immediately, but towards the end I could feel him getting restless.

So, did you like the hug?

Meh.....it's just a hug Gen.

Oh, darn it.  I was hoping it made you feel the way I do right now. 

How's that?

All warm and tingly inside. Like I could rip your clothes off behind a locked door.  But, you know, since you don't feel that way I guess we'll just have to try again in a little while.

LOL!  He was a little ticked.  He kept trying to hug me all day.  And, every once in a while I'd let him.  But, I wanted to see if he read the entire Exercise for the day *and* night. 

It all goes back to the saying that intimacy is not just about sex or what happens in the bedroom.  I think a hug is a positive thing to do during the day.  It beats the hell out of fighting that's for sure.  So why not give your partner a hug the next time you feel like cussing him/her out?  Honestly, the more positive things that happen in my day with my husband, the less I feel like choking him when he's smacking his food!  It's weird how that works. The more hugs I receive from him and give back to him, the less I tend to focus on his annoying habits and the less he fusses about my addiction to technology. 

When you spend your days remembering how it makes you feel when he or she is gazing into your eyes without diverting their attention, it makes you feel like that's exactly where you belong.  Hold on to those feelings and store them in your soul so you'll never forget how your partners eyes sparkle when they're looking into yours.  Save the way he or she made you feel when they embraced you.  To quote Brittany who amazingly came up with it's like "building up the savings in our positive love bank account".  I'd have to agree!  It forces you to look into that account and withdraw some of the feelings.

With the day almost to a close, and all that hugging and gazing into each others eyes we were both in terrific moods and it *truly* made our private time that much more amazing. 

You too can participate in this 10 day Intimacy extravaganza, aka, K-Y® Brand Intimacy Experiment FREE of charge on Facebook.  Visit COUPLES PLACE™ Presented by K-Y® Brand to download the PDF file!

“I wrote this posting while participating in a blog campaign on behalf of K-Y® Brand and also received product samples to help facilitate my review. In addition, K-Y® Brand sent me a gift card to thank me for taking the time to participate.”

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